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Harassment at Work Print E-mail
Written by Shasta Daisy McCarty   
Tuesday, 08 July 2008 14:38
As I stated in my last post, assertiveness is an essential social skill. It is one that I learned the hard way. Nothing cheers the dark and crusty heart of the office predator like the certainty that he can do pretty much anything he wants to you and you will not speak up for yourself. Even worse than the initial humiliation you endure is the realization that, when you do speak up, nothing will be done to stop the offender’s behavior.

That was my experience at my first workplace (I eventually quit) and it made me realize that any response to future harassment would have to come directly from me.

At my second job I had no place to run and no place to hide. As a receptionist I could not simply walk away from someone who was making me feel uncomfortable. I was stuck! I discovered that there were a couple of situations that came up frequently - giving me plenty of opportunities for practice.

Scenario number one I refer to as the "Lean and Look".

I am seated at my desk when a man approaches. He leans against the counter and tries to look down the front of my shirt. I am wearing a turtleneck but this makes no difference whatsoever. I state loudly (and with a perfectly pleasant voice and expression) "You’re invading my personal space." I look at him expectantly and the response is invariably the same. The man splutters "Well, I’m SORRY. I didn’t mean to OFFEND you." He looks around the room to let everyone present know how much he thinks I am overreacting. I smile sincerely and say "Apology accepted." then continue answering phones or typing.  

I used that one all the time and not one guy could think of a rejoinder. It was kind of fun, actually.

Scenario two was what I call the "Coarse Whisperer" .

This guy knows perfectly well that in a "he said, she said" situation a zero tolerance policy has no teeth since there are no impartial witnesses. He likes to take advantage of this in a room full of people by speaking so softly that he cannot be overheard by bystanders. When he approaches my desk and tries to start an intimate chat, I make sure that my half of the conversation is carried out in a monotone (at full volume) from the very beginning of the exchange. "Really. You had a dream about me last night. That is very odd." Once the guy figures out that our conversation is not going to be "private" and that I am going to repeat everything he says back to him for clarification (and for all potential witnesses to overhear) he learns to shut his mouth.

Nipping inappropriate behavior in the bud is always the best tactic to employ. Unfortunately, most Personnel departments are not equipped to handle sexual harassment in the work place unless it has escalated to a point far beyond what you as the target will find acceptable.

Handling yourself with confidence will let you decide how you want to be treated and allow you to command the respect of your coworkers.
 

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